There was another post planned. It was discussing why MCU Captain America is the guy who has your back, and why the current Hydra agent version of Cap is so incredibly wrong. And it still  may happen, because it’s still kicking around inside my head.

But then, as often can happen, something else happens that completely changes what I have planned for this blog. In this case, it was the deaths of 49 LGBTQ and LGBTQ-friendly people (most of whom were Latinx, which should not be forgotten) at a gay bar in Orlando, FL. Like most of us who do not identify as LGBTQ, but as allies, we find ourselves wanting to help. We want to say the right words, do the right things, say anything, do anything that will help our LGBTQ friends and family members heal. Because if we find the right words, and if we do the right things, we can make it better. And we so desperately want to make it better.

But the hard truth is that we can’t. Because there is no “better” after something of this magnitude. Just as with the AIDS epidemic in the 1980s, the LGBTQ community will likely be changed by this. But we can help make it bearable. We can be the people who make giant angel wings to shield mourners from hate and bigotry. We can be bathroom buddies. We can be the people who say “Hey, not cool” if a coworker or a friend makes a LGBTQ-phobic remark. And we can just sit quietly and listen to our LGBTQ friends work through their grief and anger and disbelief.

I wish there were the right words and the right things to say and do. Maybe they could have been said and done before the night of June 12 so that none of this would have happened in the first place. Unfortunately, that was not the case. But we can help moving forward. We can do more than offer prayers or thoughts. We can offer actions.

And in the end, that is the best thing we can — and should — do.

No judgment. No exceptions. Geeks got your back.