Back in the day, when we were first starting out the Backup Ribbon Project, we got a question from a girl who asked if the ribbons were only meant to be worn by women to protect other women. The reason she asked was because her boyfriend, who presented as very feminine, got harassed at a con and she wanted to know whether or not he qualified for backup.
We were a bit taken aback at this. Why should anybody have to jump through arbitrary hoops in order to gain protection against harassment or worse? Is there a level below which people get to just shrug their shoulders, say “Yeahhh…you look like you could take care of yourself” and walk away? The entire notion seemed ludicrous.
However, there did appear to be a faction that insisted that only women needed backup. While it is true that the majority of harassment and assault incidents at geek events will be perpetrated by men upon women, that’s not an excuse to forget about other dynamics.
I have too many LGBTQ friends who have been threatened with violence based on their sexual orientation, gender preference, or presentation to turn my back on them.
I have too many LGBTQ friends who have actually *been* victims of violence to turn my back on them.
I have too many male friends who have gotten unwanted attention from drunk women to turn my back on them.
No exceptions. Not gonna happen. Not on my watch.
I spend a great deal of time chatting up Backup Ribbon Project at con panels. Which I love doing. I get to hear your thoughts and concerns, as well as your stories, either as somebody who needed backup and got it, or as somebody assisting another con attendee in trouble. These stories remind me that all of the blood, sweat, and tears I have put into this nutty little concept are worth it.
This year, I have a new story to add. It’s pretty basic, but reminded me even more strongly of my commitment to what I do here. I was at a crowded room party at my local con when I heard my name being urgently called by somebody out in the hallway. When I went out, I found a friend of mine (who had called me out), who had another woman with her who was in need of some help from another drunk attendee. Without going into detail, my friend and I were able to get her the help she needed.
Why is this remarkable? I mean, after all, the incident that sparked Backup Ribbon Project in the first place was much more blatant. Because I had been very frustrated with the lack of effort on the part of the organization putting on the con at implementing a workable anti-harassment policy. I was all ready to simply have this be my last year there.
And then I heard my friend calling me out of a party to help provide backup. In that instant, I realized that I cannot turn my back on other attendees at this con. If I am to continue giving out ribbons and talking about providing backup, I must be willing to step up to the plate when it is my turn to help out.
In short — this nutty concept of mine passed the proof of concept test with flying colors.
I was going to start this with several paragraphs discussing the whole Sad Puppy/Rabid Puppy imbroglio over this year’s Hugo awards. Those paragraphs were going to be thoughtful and insightful, with plenty of links for people to follow. I had them written, and then I stopped, looked at them, and decided instead to get right to the point:
If a con invites me to be a guest to speak about Backup Ribbon Project, anti-harassment policies, or safety at cons, it MUST have an anti-harassment policy and code of conduct that is readily accessible online (and yes, I will go looking for it).
Note that this does NOT apply to people bringing/wearing/handing out ribbons at the con. This only applies to having me as a guest at the con.
No policy? No play.
Our inbox has blown up with ribbon requests. Seriously, was somebody talking about us behind our back? Ribbons should land early next week.
VERY IMPORTANT!!! Ribbon requests are filled by the order in which they hit our inbox. However, if you want them for a specific event, please TELL US in your email, so that we can give you a fastpass to the head of the queue. Yes, that includes that little shindig taking place in Atlanta over Labor Day.
In just *48 hours*, our GoFundMe goal was met (with a bit of extra to spare)! Once again, we are amazed and proud of our geeky brethren and sistren who care enough about each other to make us all a little bit safer.
In short — Y’all ROCK!!!
*sniff* Love ya, man!
We have taken another great leap into the wild and wooly world of crowdfunding and have set up a GoFundMe campaign. We are hoping to raise $500 for a start to help cover the costs of ribbons, cards, stickers, and postage. If you also want ribbons, cards, and stickers, please drop us an email.
And…this is the part where we indulge in shameless begging to get y’all to share the link among your friends, family, coworkers, postman, or anybody else you know who might be interested in helping us make the geek community just a bit niftier for everybody.
Insert big, pleading puppy-eyes here (Dammit, there should be some sort of html code to make that happen)!
Ready. Set. GOFUNDME!!
Goodness, it has been a while, hasn’t it? Oh, so much to talk about…
First — if you are planning to be at Gallifrey One over President’s Weekend, Backup Ribbons, cards, and stickers WILL be there. Ask around among those wearing Ribbons.
Second — Because our current stock of Backup Ribbons has all been sent to Gallifrey One, we are currently out. A re-order has been placed, and we expect them to land sometime next week.
Third (and somewhat related to Thing the Second) — We are now gently rattling the donation can to help us cover the costs for Backup Ribbons. You can donate directly via Paypal by clicking the handy button on the right-hand column. As we are an army of 2.5, we have minimal overhead, so all of your donations go directly to covering printing costs for ribbons, cards, and stickers. Suggested donation is $10.
And there you have your three good things, all in one update!